Because I'm Still In Love with You
by twentyfourrocks
Summary: TONYMICHELLE: SEASON 4: SPOILERSPECULATION- this is something a wrote based on rumors etc. more explained inside. please Read and Review UNLESS you do not wish to know about the rumor. Thank you! (Just 1 chapter with possible epilogue depending on reviews


**Title: Because I'm still In Love with You**

**Setting: The end of season 4 (speculation)**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, etc.**

**Pairing: Tony and Michelle**

**Rating: PG (mild swearing)**

**Warning: SPOILER ALERT!!! This is based on rumors, speculation, and potential spoilers. If you do not wish to know these, DO NOT READ ON!!! Otherwise, please read and review!!!**

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**This is based off of the spoiler/rumor that Michelle divorced Tony soon after he was put in prison. This is what I wrote as a way, if the spoiler is accurate, it could turn out. So, please read and tell me what you think. Thanks.**

**Because I'm still In Love with You**

It was over. Finally. All that was left were the debriefs. That and the incredible pain of this being out in the open and trying to cope with the bitterness and change that seemed to envelope the both of them. They sat together in the same room, although pointedly at opposite sides and corners of the table. The few people, Jack, Adam, Driscoll, even Kim had come into help with Chase, were present and now they were all talking about the events of yet another dreadful day, complete with Hammond and all. It was hard not to sense the tension between them, not to notice the glances that they sent in each others direction when they thought nobody was looking, the clear pain of being obscenely mad at one another yet obviously, blindingly still in love with each other. They both seemed at a complete loss of what to do as the discussion came to the point of what Michelle had done to try and help him and the part that everybody knew would be one of the hardest. Yes the events of the day had been dreadful but the both of them had had a year and a half of dreadfulness building up to this one day. For this reason nobody even attempted to stop them as Tony voiced what had obviously, naturally been running through his mind the whole day.

"So are you married? Boyfriend? Kid?" he asked her quietly, although the resentment in his voice was clear.

"Please, you know me better than that," she spat at him.

"Do I, Michelle? Seems I didn't know you nearly as well as I thought I did."

She didn't say anything as she glanced down at the table.

"What, that surprises you?" he asked her a little bit louder.

"It shouldn't but it does," she said, matching his bitter tone, and meeting his eyes with burning ones of her own.

She stood up and began to walk out angrily.

"Go ahead, walk away. I'm sure you've perfected it by now," he raised his voice at her.

"I had no choice but to do what I did," she yelled at him, swinging around.

He practically threw himself out of his chair.

"Why Michelle? Why even bother," he spat at her bitterly.

"Because," she yelled back, "I was in love with you. I did what I had to to get you out of prison, even if that meant I couldn't have you."

Tony just shook his head angrily, jaw set in that expression he had developed so well over the years. The one that he had used to mask what he was feeling, although somewhere inside of him he knew that it used to be her who could see right through it.

"And what about you?" she yelled at him, "You were so quick to give up. You just gave in and assumed that I just decided to stop loving you, that I didn't give a damn anymore. You are just so certain that I did what I did to screw you over. Didn't you realize that after we were divorced you were released? Did that even cross you're mind? Why is it that you are just so damn sure that I was willing to give up on you so quickly? God Tony I promised you I wouldn't, don't you remember. Are you really that dense? Damn it Tony, why-" she raged, but was cut off.

"Because I'm still in love with you," he shouted, matching her rage and interrupting her last word, walking straight up to her, "I probably always will be. And the only way I could survive the pain of knowing you didn't still love me was by not bothering to doubt it but accepting the presented as fact. To ignore any doubt or try to make any sense of what seemed an abandonment from the woman I knew would never abandon me. I couldn't let myself even consider that you still loved me."

She stood there staring back.

"It doesn't even matter," he said bitterly, "Nothing will ever be the same. Everything's changed and-"

She cut him off by pulling his head down to hers with a searing, hard kiss on the lips that lasted only a couple of seconds before she pulled back and said quietly but firmly,

"That hasn't,"

Before turning around and walking out the door.

Tony watched the door slam and sat down in the chair violently, rubbing his cheek. His hand wandered to the other cheek but stopped as the side of his finger touched her kiss still tingling on his lips. He seemed frozen for a moment as everybody stared at him or at the table. All of a sudden he jumped up and ran to the door, flinging it open.

"He's not done with his debrief," said Hammond, standing up, followed closely by Driscoll.

"No," Jack said, "Give them a second, Brad. Let's face it, this is the place that screwed them over in the first place. Give them a minute to work on it without the intrusion of controlling diplomats."

He glanced from Driscoll to Hammond, who looked appalled.

"Glory of no longer working at CTU, as Erin made sure I didn't," he said.

Tony caught up with Michelle in the desolate area of CTU, past the bullpen but not at the elevator yet.

"Michelle," he yelled after her.

She turned around just in time to be pulled into his searing, long awaited kiss. Having waited so long for this type of sensation again, they both relished in their ability to melt into each other. He could taste the salt of her tears on his lips; she hadn't been crying when he had looked at her moments before, and in that instant it was as though they were connected in a way so in sync it was unbelievable considering the time they had spent apart. He could feel the lump rising in his throat and knew the tears were proof that she had felt the same experience just moments before.

She didn't even bother to try to contain the tears pouring freely from her eyes. The kiss felt like a partial release, an acceptance that there was a possibility for some kind of recovery from this nightmare. One hand grasped in his hair, and as the other traveled up his chest to be wrapped around his neck, she felt the tenseness there. She rubbed her thumb on his chest and felt him relax as he choked out a muffled sob against her lips and allowed his own tears to fall down his cheeks, blending with her own, and resulting in him pushing his lips even harder into hers. He backed her the few feet into the wall.

Finally they pulled back, her hand in his hair and brushing along his cheek, one of his around her waist, the other cradling her neck but just enough to allow his thumb to stroke the soft skin of her cheek. His forehead leaned gently into hers and there noses touched as they both continued to lightly rub there foreheads and cheeks together, trapping themselves in the feeling of the others skin against their own. The hoarse whisper came out of both of their mouths at the same time, through the sobs, both determined to get it out in the open in order to start their recovery.

"I'm sorry."

The first trace of a faint smile appeared on both of their faces, each of their lips curving only at the sides at the realization that time and distance hadn't lost them this connection, at the fact that their minds were still intertwined and in tune with the other's enough to end up speaking the same things at the same time.

"Me too," she said quietly, "I love you, Tony. I've never stopped loving you. And I'm sorry."

"Baby, I've never stopped loving you either. I'm so sorry I jumped to conclusions I just-"

This time it wasn't him who had to cut himself off because of the pain of explaining it. She put a finger to his lips.

"We'll have plenty of time to talk sweetheart. Right now, I think we're both exhausted, and I think we both know why we acted the way we did," she added as he looked down thinking, obviously determined to explain it to her.

At her words he looked back into her eyes.

"All right."

And he smiled. The first genuine smile she had seen in a year and a half. The one that made her heart skip. He wiped gently under her eyes; the tears that seemed to have stopped were still evident on both of their faces.

"Let's go home," she said.

He kissed her lightly on the lips, no wanting to part from the close contact he had longed for for so long, and that now he had once again felt as though he never wanted to part from again.

"Almeida," came the stern voice and stomps of Brad Hammond, followed by Driscoll and a group of former colleagues who looked as though they had been trying to negotiate with Hammond to leave the couple alone. Tony glanced up from Michelle and turned far enough to allow her to stand up fully without the support of the wall. Tony's arm slid down hers to her hand where she interlaced her fingers with his. Michelle glanced at Tony. He looked as annoyed as she felt.

"You both need to finish your debrief," he said.

Tony rubbed his forehead slightly with a sigh of disapproval.

"Later Brad," Michelle said, returning to her business, professional voice, "Right now I'm going home with my husband."

Inside Tony felt his heart leap. In that moment he knew that no matter what happened, no matter what had happened, everything was going to be fine, everything was going to be better than fine. The feeling he had longed for, the desire to hold her, the thing that had been denied them both for too long, was going to be satisfied once more. He was never letting go of her again.

He squeezed her hand and felt the confirmation conduct throughout his body as she squeezed back, a simple gesture but one that confirmed his suspicion. That hand was now going to be permanently glued to his; neither of them had any desire nor will to ever let it go again.


End file.
